This is my new blog. I’m hoping to update it weekly and will use it as a means of documenting my life as a poet, researcher, dog owner, comedian and artist. Doing this because I read that Marianne Moore wrote 5 personal essays a week while she was a student and while I can’t really say that these posts will be “personal essays”, I’m trying to get more general writing done on a week-to-week basis and a blog seemed like a good way to do it. Plus Mazza Moore is one of my research subjects and she was a stone cold poetry babe master, so hers isn’t a bad book from which to take a leaf. I also want to use it as a means of perseverance – life is kinda tough right now, but hopefully recording small achievements regularly will provide much needed encouragement, even if I’m the only one who ever reads them. Okay, here’s goes!)

Good afternoon, world, this is your captain speaking. When I say captain, I mean captain of this website/blog, rather than anything fancier like an aeroplane or a volleyball team. I was never very good at sports and can barely drive a car let alone a plane. However, I’m going to maintain this plane captain style of speaking in the hopes that it might encourage you to sit back, relax and enjoy what will no doubt be a turbulent, rambling flight through my life.

So right now the weather in Edinburgh is fine and sunny, a smooth 16°C for this, the first day of the Fringe Festival (I think the official first day is tomorrow, but there are a ton of shows already on, and I’m going to see my first one this afternoon (Ben Target: Imagine There’s No Ben Target (It’s Easy If You Try)), so we’ll call it the first day and have done with it; anyone who disagrees can see me after the flight. JK, of course you can’t mix with the captain! I’ll be busy moving through the airport in slo-mo, wheeling my tiny, perfect-square suitcase along behind me. I mean, what can I fit in there, really? Like one pair of pants and a toothbrush?)

This Fringe is quite novel for me because it’s the first one in all of (my own) Fringe history that I’m NOT doing a show. Admittedly it’s only my fourth Fringe, and I get that other people have been coming for a lot longer and have done more shows than I probably ever will, but I’m already enjoying the stress-free atmosphere that is abuzz in our little flat*. Up until about a month ago I was in fact scheduled to do TWO full-run shows, one as one half of Me3 Comedy (more about that later) and one as a cast member of a show called F-Holes (every day (except the Wednesdays) at Paradise Palms, 13:10 – go see it, it’s genuinely going to be great!) HOWEVER I’m also trying to juggle a PhD, a new puppy, a fledgling career as a fledgling poet and a haunting past, so decided that this would be a Fringe worth dedicating to something besides comedy/an inevitable nervous breakdown.

Am I sad about it? Slightly. Lots of friends are doing shows and it’s tough to watch them getting ready and excited about performing – there really ain’t nothing like the thrill of a successful stage appearance, folks. But at the same time, I don’t envy the high octane anxiety that they’re definitely going through – don’t lie, guys, you know putting on a show is really worrying. Also, big crowds of people make me super sad. I’m a fast walker, crowds are slow. I’m a polite person, crowds are RUDE. I understand that taking up an entire pavement to get a selfie with a statue of a dog is idiotic, crowds do not get it. So I am zooooo happy that I have the option to avoid it all this summer and see whatever the heck shows I want without having to plan it all around days off and my own performance hours.

How did this get here?!

That being said, I am making a few guest appearances (that makes me sound so famous and in demand, so I’m sticking with it, but FYI, I’m the least famous/in demand person you do or do not know at this point). Me and my comedy/life partner Richard Hanrahan will be doing Backrow Presents… on the 8th and 15th, 21:45 at Banshee Labyrinth (we watch a bad movie and say shit over the top of it); I’m on at the Blind Poetics Big Night of Spoken Word event on the 10th (it runs from 8pm til 1am, and I’m on in the 9pm-10pm slot) and I’ll also be doing Chutney Exhibition’s Poets Against Humanity on the 21st , 20:40 at Chiquito on Frederick Street. They’re all sure to be good fun in spite of my presence at them, so do come along if you’re free and in Edinburgh**.

And now this blog is over. Here’s brief a roundup of my week thus far:

• PhD Stuff Read a bunch of essays on representing animals. Became very interested in the idea of animals representing the dead, so we’ll see where that goes.
• Poetry Started 2 new poems, finished 1 poem. Met with Poetry Gang to discuss last week’s poem; not gonna lie, it needs work. Put some work in an envelope to send to Mslexia. Have yet to buy stamps.
• Puppy No bites for me, one bite for Hitch. Slowly realising we’re in charge, but taking his sweet time about it. Balls off next week, promise to keep y’all posted on our dogs genitals!
• Comedy Me3 Comedy released TWO new podcasts; one about Disney and one dedicated to the Great British Bake Off. Listen here!
• Exercise Made it to 20 lengths in the pool, spent the next day in bed exhausted. Diagnosed myself with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
• Drawing Working on some new things…I’m sure there will be hilarious/amazing illustrations to accompany these posts at some point.

*It’s clearly not stress-free, we have an excitable, five-month old puppy in our midst.

**This works on the assumption that anyone is actually reading this…if you are, hiiiii! Thanks for spending your virtual time with me ❤